Maintaining a steady relationship is not just about finding that ‘perfect’ partner; it is more about being the right person for your partner. We often blame others for the failures and difficulties we face in life, little realizing the fact that we too contribute to our own miseries in a number of ways.
Somehow in the back of your mind if you have a feeling that the foundation of your relationship is getting weaker with each passing day please read the following points below:
i) Are you fully committed?
If commitment for you means buying a rose every day or taking her out on a date twice a week or saying I love you 20 times a day then maybe you should think again. It is also about the little efforts that you put from heart everyday to keep the relationship alive. Ask yourself- Am I seriously committed?
ii) Are you a good listener?
No relationship can survive without a sound communication. And an effective communication is possible only when both the parties have the patience to listen to each other. Please recall when the last time you guys had a healthy discussion was! If it was weeks or months back or even worse if you have no clue when was the last time you listened patiently to your partner, I guess you should take it seriously now. When relationships grow old we find these discussions boring and often ignore the partner’s need to talk.
She is not a caged bird…
let her fly freely…
iii) Are you fooling yourself?
Are you really happy with your partner? Is he the one who suits your type? Or are you just consoling and forcing yourself to go with the flow? If yes then stop immediately. I have seen a number of young people getting into a relation only to lose interest in a few months.
Learn: How to get over a break up
iv) Has misunderstanding the partner become your habit?
On one hand your partner tries hard to keep you happy, stays loyal to you, takes care of your little things and on the other hand you return their kindness in the form of misunderstanding, unnecessary fights and baseless arguments. If this is your story then please change this habit if you really want this relation to survive.
v) Are you a flirt?
It is okay you are a charming person who is perhaps the most date-able guy in college. But that doesn’t give you the license to share your charms with the world. If you are still continuing to flirt with people being in spite of being in a relationship with your partner, you are seriously doing injustice to your partner. Sending flirty texts, sharing adult stuffs, chatting late night with others can bring hurricanes in relationships. Stop these if you want to live peacefully with your partner.
vi) Possessive…are you?
It is okay you are a Sherlock Holme’s fan and always wanted to be a detective. But at least don’t try your detective skills on your partner. Scanning his email list, checking those whatsapp messages, forcing him to share his facebook password and deleting those attractive girls from his friend list (whom you always thought to be a threat to your relation) are some of the biggest mistakes you can ever do. Always remember a simple fact that someone who is determined to stay with you will stay in spite of innumerable ‘beautiful’ distractions and hurdles. So stop being possessive and let your partner breathe feely.
Ask for his love…
not his facebook password…
vi) Are you too dominating?
Your partner is not a caged bird nor are you! Both of you have your own life, different friend circles and separate hangout groups. Respect each other’s likes and dislikes. Only because you are not a party animal, does not mean she should stop going at her favorite pub with her close buddies. Do not force your partner to do something which they don’t want to do. If you are not comfortable with any of her activities, sit with her and discuss patiently. Make her understand your problem and the reason why you want her to quit that specific thing.
Keep a few things in mind:
Love is a beautiful feeling if handled in the right manner but becomes a curse when mishandled. Keep the following points in mind so that you do not end up hurting your sweetheart.
i) Do not enter a relationship if you don’t feel love for that person.
ii) Relationships are not like video games or any other pass time activities which you can end when you feel bored. Before entering a relationship ask yourself “AM I MATURED ENOUGH TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?”
iii) Understand the difference between Love and infatuation. Only because you are attracted to that person does not mean you are ready for a relationship. Don’t be in a haste to go for a relationship. Take your time and then decide.
iv)Once you enter a relationship, do not look back. Give your full commitment and be loyal to your love. Hurting someone is a sin and the negative energies you generate in the process harms you too.
Finally ask yourself…
Having said all these let us summarize the discussion here. No relation can work without a continuous effort to make it better. Today if you are going through a rough patch chances are there that you are not engaging yourself much in the relationship. If this is the case, it is time to take a step; either take corrective measures to improve the situation or put a stop to it. It is of no use stretching and dragging an already dead relation.
Of late, if you have wanted to quit this relationship but not doing it in the fear of hurting your partner, then probably you are doing injustice to them. It is because love is neither a formality nor should it take the form of sympathy. But before taking this step ask yourself for a final time why is it so tough to stay in this relationship. And is there any chance to make it better!
Please feel free to share your thoughts on this in the comment section below.