“Big, joint families are impossible! I think I should move to a new apartment with my wife and kids.”
“No I can’t live with my partner.”
“Uff! My roommate is such a bore! I need a single room.”
“It is impossible to adjust with my neighbor…huh!”
Are these your mantras of daily life? Is this how you are burying your own grave every day? Have you totally forgotten the art of adjustment? Stop chanting these cheap shots and come out of the self-centered shell and discover the beauty of positivity.
In one of my previous post, I had described about the importance of adjustment in our lives. Hopefully you have understood the need to adjust. In this post I will discuss some important aspects of adjustment and the ways to do so.
i) Understand their problem
Sometimes people with an irritating nature have a story buried inside their heart. Some of the most rude, maniacs, arrogant, jealous and uncompromising people are born out of some tragic incidences.
The canteen boy who behaved rudely may have some serious financial conditions back home, the neighbor who fought with you in the morning might have a family issue or that ‘rude’ co-passenger at the station may be too upset and hurt to speak any kind words. So next time when your not-so-adjusting colleague passes any rude remark, try to look at the other side of the story too.
To do:
Be sympathetic to people around you. And before judging anyone, first know the reason behind their arrogance.
ii) Nobody is perfect. Understand this!
Nobody is perfect and in fact it is really not necessary to be perfect. We live in a world full of imperfections and maybe this is what makes us human. So do not expect the people around you to be flawless. Learn to digest people’s faults and try to go with the flow.
To do:
Learn to forgive people. Forgiveness gives peace and a feeling of maturity.
Are you flawless?
We are masters in finding out faults in others while overlooking or neglecting our own. While we are expert in tagging people as boring, irritating, unsocial, rude, impulsive and so on, it may also happen that someone else is feeling the same adjectives for us.
So before waging a war with your surroundings, do a reality check on your own nature. Only because you cannot adjust with people around you does not make them bore or awkward.
If you are a person who, in most of the occasions finds it very tough to adjust with people, chances are there that you may be the one who is the epicenter of all troubles. Confused? Give it a thought…honestly!
To do:
i) Have the courage to admit your faults. Hiding and ignoring your own faults will not help you in any way. You will invite more enemies in this way.
ii) Try to be friendly with people and maintain a cool attitude. Don’t let unnecessary activities ruin your peace of mind.
ii)Don’t point out un necessary faults in people. This will gradually take them away from you.
iii) Tame your ego
Your room mate wants to study while you want to put off that irritating CFL bulb and jump in to the world of dreams! Now do you feel that adjusting with the situation by allowing him to study for an hour more will hurt your self esteem? If yes, then please change your thought. Never let your ego destroy your bonding with the people around you. However it may also happen that your room mate is seriously a block head who is not worthy of your sacrifice; in that case it is best to maintain a distance.
We live in a society engulfed with a hundred of bindings and formalities and needless to say that at many a times we need to compromise on certain issues for the sake of maintaining peace with the person(s) concerned. This is quite okay keeping in view the importance of relationships with people in our life.
To do:
i) Do not link every situation with your self esteem or ego. For example, if someone makes a sarcastic comment, take it sportingly.
iv) Respect others’ thoughts
Do not fight with your rock metal lover brother who ‘annoys’ you with those high pitched roars of his favorite rock star which is completely alien to your definition of soft music. No two human beings are same and each one of us has our own set of liking and disliking.
Only because you do not support an idea does not make that idea a worthless one. Stop judging people from your point of view. This is a free world and every individual have his/her right to do what he/she wants. Adjust! Adjust! Adjust!
To do:
Give your loved ones some space to breath. Do not invade their freedom.
Platinum rules of adjustment
Let me summarize the key ways to adjust and maintain a peace with your surrounding. Keep these points in mind while dealing with the world around you:
i) Compromise; A little sacrifice will not kill you.
ii) Adjustment does not mean submitting or surrendering your dignity to others. It is not wise to adjust with the same person repeatedly if that person fails to appreciate your effort.
iii)Maintain distance from people who are super negative (learn more about negative people ) and find faults in every situation. it is futile to expect anything good from them.
No two individuals in this world are perfectly same. Different people around us are unique in their own ways. And during the long walk of life we need help, support and company of these people to make this journey easier and a memorable one. Ask yourself- what is important to you? Your ego or the relationship with that person! Do not be so rigid while dealing with people. A little adjustment NEVER HARMS.
Over to you
Feel free to share your opinion regarding this topic in the comments section. In case you need any further clarification or if you do not agree with a specific point, please do not hesitate to mention it. (You can also mail or message me if you do not want to discuss your problems publicly)
Constructive criticisms are welcome!
Beautifully said Tuhin! I believe it’s a matter of attitude and as you’ve pointed out, taming our ego because it’s so easy to fall into the false trap of assuming that everything that happens is about us.
I remember having to share an office with someone who was completely my opposite – she was very social, talked a lot and most days she didn’t get down to business until noon, but the clincher for me was when she began blaring music in the office. Finally, one day I closed and locked the office door, just smiled at her and said, “We need to have us an understanding.” We had a good talk and were able to work everything out, in fact, the next day she showed up with earphones so she could listen to her music without disturbing me.
Talking things out honestly and with mutual respect helps to build bridges while making assumptions and allowing our ego to control our behavior divides us.
Wow! If we could solve all the differences around the world in this manner, the world would soon turn in to a beautiful place. You did the right thing in this case. And I appreciate your co-worker for appreciating this too.