We came in this world alone and we have to leave this world alone too.
But in between our arrival and departure lies a phase where we need to socialize and make friends…lots and lots of friends.
We need to concentrate on our socializing skills; We need to learn some effective ways to connect with people.
Wondering ‘Why????’
It is because…
…there are innumerable species of living beings which completes their life cycle without communicating or interacting much with the fellow individuals of their community. And again there are these species whose survival depends largely on socializing.
Fortunately or unfortunately you and me belong to the latter kind!
So are you among those people who find it very tough to maintain a good relationship with people?
If yes, let me help you with 6 practical tips to connect with people.
In this post you will understand why
- we should treat everyone with respect
- we should not be judgemental
- we should be kind and generous
- we should ignore and trash jealousy
A lot of people often ask me—- “Every individual is different with different mindset and attitude. How Is it possible to please everyone?”
Well I personally feel it is very much possible to maintain a healthy relationship with people in spite of the differences in their attitude and mentality.
I can testify this fact with the help of these 6 points (below) which I follow every single day of my life.
i) Give Respect, Get Respect
So if you want to form a strong bond with people first learn to treat each and every individual around you with respect.
Starting from doctors, engineers and affluent people to mediocre and people from lower classes of society, every individual deserves to be treated with respect.
Shouting unnecessarily at a waiter in front of your date will not impress her.
Neither can you earn goodwill by cursing the poor boy at the laundry.
Human beings, by nature are more inclined to treat those people with respect and dignity who are either equal to or higher than themselves in terms of money, position and class.
This is wrong!
No matter who you are and what you do, treat everyone with equal respect.
And as your physics teacher taught “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”, these small acts of kindness too will come back to you in different form.
In India we call it the law of KARMA
ii) Do not judge people: Accept everyone with an open heart
The neighbor whom you tagged as ‘rude’, the ‘arrogant’ receptionist at the hotel who pissed you off, the ‘boring’ colleague who always skips the weekend parties and the ‘miser’ friend who never contributes for the movie tickets have always turned you off with their not-so-pleasant attitude, right?
But have you ever tried to understand the other side of the story?
We often judge people from our perspective little realizing the fact that we all have a completely different life story. People around us are buried under tons of sorrows, tensions, frustrations and emotional turbulence; this is inevitable.
Today if you are able to laugh from heart be grateful to your god.
Millions of people across the globe have almost forgotten (due to grief, poverty, riots, wars, death loss etc) the taste of a good laughter.
So rather than being judgmental try to accept people as they are and if possible try to provide them with mental support during this bad phase.
Trust me, it gives peace of mind!
iii) Help people (but genuinely)
Perhaps the most important goal in forming a community is to live collectively and help each other in day to day life.
This basic human trait has been in practice from time immemorial.
Neither me, nor you can live alone and isolated.
But today we are soon forgetting the art of co-operation.
We think twice before offering a stranger a glass of water, helping an old man to cross a road and so on.
Share your notes with your friends,
help your neighbor to clean his lawn,
provide mental strength to your colleague who has just lost his uncle
or..
do anything that can bring some peace in someone’s life.
Every day, do some random act of kindness.
Make it a goal to help people irrespective of any discrimination and no matter how small the help is, be satisfied with your effort.
A little kindness from your part can seriously give someone a reason to smile.
iv) Learn to ignore- Don’t waste your energy in petty fights
You are not a hulk nor are you living in a war zone. So do not make a scene out of every small issue in daily life.
Some people have this tendency to take small things personally which can otherwise be ignored easily.
Fighting, arguing and cursing people for every small matter will surely take you away from your friends and well wishers.
If you are one of those who finds problem with every other individual around you, it is high time you rectify this nature.
A casual joke, a sarcastic comment or a funny taunt by a fellow colleague or a friend will not kill you.
Let us suppose a colleague makes a comment about your habit of laziness. Now what appeared to you as an insult may actually be a casual comment from his side without any intention to hurt you.
So take these things sportingly.
v) Smile, smile and smile- You will soon become a MAGNET of attracting people
We like happy souls, don’t we?
We get attracted to those who are always cheerful and full of joy
but
If you observe carefully you can find that almost every other individual around you is trapped in their own problems.
The world is already full of people who are depressed, frustrated, sad or angry due to some reasons or the other.
Greeting everyone with a smile helps people to communicate easily with you.
Make it a habit to flaunt a smile whenever you meet someone throughout the day.
At any given day a bright and cheerful face is more welcome than a dull and rude gesture.
vi) Trash jealousy
Jealousy and love can never exist in the same plate.
But sadly, jealousy exists everywhere around us.
Starting from the classrooms of schools and colleges to the seminar rooms of corporate houses to our personal lives there are no short of jealous people.
In order to connect with people, you have to trash jealousy
Learn to accept others’ success and instead of cursing them try to become a part of their celebration.
In our daily lives we often pretend to be someone’s well wisher while burying heaps of jealous emotions deep inside our heart.
While you know what?
Vibes never lie
People now-a-days are wise enough to differentiate between a fake and a real care. So be genuine
A lot of people spend their whole life buried under heaps of ego, negative attitude and unnecessary grievances and so on. These tendencies have never done any good to anyone neither will it do any good to you.
Stop this today (if you are in this list) and start connect with people effectively.
So, do you share a healthy relation with people around you?
Life becomes easier when we have good people around us whom we can count on!
There is no peace in living an isolated life full of grudge, misery, loneliness and so on. So understand the importance of people in your life.
Having said all these, now I would like to hear your views regarding this piece. Feel free to share your feedback and constructive criticisms or add any point in case I have left any. The comment box is all yours…
Excellent. Awesome.You written so nicely even Ur worst critic wouldn’t find any point to criticise. This blog is reflection of your culture Ur Attitude mindset & above all respecting both older & younger generation. I am sure your this blog will certainly inject new blood to those static orthordox old people who create distinction between old & young man & woman .They simply jealous of younger generation. I do believe this blog will change their approach towards younger generation. Even sometimes God fails to judge the human whom He himself create. I wonder how a man can judge another. Another nice point u wrote that is pretending my earnest request plz.plz.donot pretend do your best . Always help people helping people means is helping yourself. You never know when will get into difficulties then your good work which did for the good of people will work. Keep doing your good work. It will certainly give dividend not money but peace of mind blessings & recognition. your sagging spirit will work like a magic.. Smile isd best medicine even little smile can m dispel all of your sorrows. Another aspect is learn to ignore which will teach you leaving bad things & teach you to pick the d best. Keep sharing if you share your holychon times it l will double your joys & if you share your agony it will reduce your pain. Acceptance is another great quality of positive thinking. You are not expert in everything you have to admit other people’ s superiority in certain subject.
The moment they will realise this their false ego will perish.T hey will become new man with zeast & zeal. Regarding respect I would like to say respect shoudn”t be in words alone it also indeed. Bottom line is if you give respect you will get respect no matter how old or younger is he or she is or younger or older generation. And one should be contented whatever he or she gets in life.These qualities will make him nice human being and better citizen. Tuhin I am spellbound. What a depth in your writing.! Great!!l This is all in haste & in sleepy sleepy eyes. Plz.bear with me.
Thank you so much Xaadoo da, for this precious comment.. Your views matter a lot. I am honoured…
Excellent write up as per usual. You are obviously a reflective person, in tune with your thoughts and feelings. You have made some valid points in your blogs and you share in a humorous, light hearted manner.
I have to disagree that we have to make lots of friends while on this earth. Not everyone is outgoing and prefers to have a handful of friends. The important thing is we treat those we come into contact with well.
Thanks for your kind words, Phoenicia!
By ‘lot of friends’, I meant connecting to as many good people around us as possible. This number will obviously vary from individual to individual..
Good tips. I agree it is important to treat everyone with respect. I also believe we are to look out for and after each other.
Thank you Donna
Jealously is hard for many people to deal with, and many emotions fall under jealousy’s umbrella. The rewards are great when one can get better at conquering it.
True Jeri.. Thnaks for reading
I agree with pretty much everything you said Tuhin, but I think the most important part is the first item you mentioned, respect. Respect everyone no matter what their outward appearance, their station in life or their level of education.
Yes Ken, we should treat everyone equally. Thanks for commenting
Great tips. I agree. Smiling is so important! Eye contact also helps. Be present with others. Speaking and listening to what people are saying is also important. People want to be connected with people who are engaging with others not on their devices but in person.
Sad that we are becoming more like robots these days…
Some great tips here, Tuhin. If everyone would follow these tips the world;d would be a better place without jealousy, and filled with respect and smiles.
Thank you Doreen
Well said, and I especially agree with your advice on respect, not just for others, but for ourselves as well. Too many people end up miserable because they allow all the wrong people into their lives for fear of ending up alone. I also appreciate Phoenicia’s point – which is not surprising since she and I are both proud-out-loud Introverts. Thanks for the inspiration!
Hello Marquita,
Thanks for your views. Keep visiting.
These are all important factors in creating healthy relationships. Jealousy especially can ruin relationships. Once more I would add is also having respect for yourself. I know many people (well, mostly women) who let others treat them badly because of a lack of feelings of self worth. So to create healthy relationships, I think you have to first start with respect for yourself.
As always, love the drawings.
You hit the point with every single item on the list. I think respect definitely deserves the number one spot here. Having a respect for those around you can really help create great and open relationships.
Being kind to each other can easily be the first step in following the other items you listed. If we treat each other–as we’re taught from childhood–to treat each other as we want to be treated, it can change every interaction we have with other people. And enrich all our lives.
Kindness is the language which the Deaf can hear & Blind can see! Hence we say a single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.
Good post you have hit the right cord! Thanks for sharing!
John Donne said; “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent”
Thinking of us as part of a continent, part of the whole, makes you want to give others the respect and recognition they deserve, and we all deserve. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post with us.
Parts of this post made me think of the following well-known Bible verse:
“But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
– Matthew 5:39
Interpreted figuratively, the above verse counsels us to shrug off minor slights, in accord with point (iv), and to not respond in kind to bad-mannered people, in accord with point (ii).
I agree with your views completely. Following all these at the same time might be a task, but one would find her/himself in a better shape socially if these can be maintained. Especially, learning to ignore and to respect and keep a smile are really helpful.
I would like to add that, never make yourself vulnerable to anyone by sharing a secret online.
You can’t live all by yourself,you need others to help you and guide you.