Are you an irritating person? Do you always bother people?
Well, the problem with an annoying and irritating person is that the whole world knows about this except the person concerned.
Funny? Isn’t it?
If you have ever been in close touch with such a person, you know how miserable life becomes when you need to spend even a few minutes with them.
But what if…
You, yourself is an irritating person in someone else’s book? How to weigh your likeability factor?
In this post I will point out:
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2 alarming signs that will tell you whether people are ignoring you (for your irritating nature)
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4 subtle everyday hints that people do not like your company
Are you ignoring the signs?
If you are a person with an irritating nature, there are high chances that you are probably unaware of this negative trait.
And this, my friend…is taking you away from the people around you.
But what if you have got hints about your not-so-pleasing attitude from time to time from different people in your network (in the form of remarks, pokes, suggestions, advice…)
and still choose to ignore these signs?
hmm??
…then my friend, you are doing a mistake.
Read this post to know about 6 different ways people irritate or annoy others
(and check whether you fall in any of these categories)
Read the signs
See we are not perfect.
But when people repeatedly try to point out some flaws in our character we need to think at least once!
We need to think – what is really pinching them to make these comments! We need to ask ourselves- ‘Do I really irritate them?’
Before taking necessary measures, it is important for you to understand the signs.
Sign 1: Do they make excuses to meet you?
You: Okay mate, lets meet this weekend.
They: err…actually I have an important engagement. Lets meet the next weekend.
Next week:
You: Hey buddy, free this weekend?
They: Ooops I forgot to tell you. My grandpa is not well. Next weekend sure…
And this ‘next weekend’ never comes…
This can happen once or twice but when a lot of people avoid hanging out with you in subsequent occasions then the situation is definitely alarming.
Sign 2: Do your colleagues avoid you during lunch breaks?
It is an obvious sign if they often ‘forget’ to call you during coffee and lunch breaks.
If it hurts your sentiment that none of your co-workers are interested in spending time with you,
or they never or very rarely invite you for a weekend party, you should not blame them.
It is because what they are doing is justified from their point of view.
Look,
In this hectic world, people socialize in order to get some relief from the tensions, frustrations, pain and sorrows of daily life.
Nobody needs an irritating person to spoil their mood further.
If your presence irritates people in some way, it is not their fault.
Read this post to learn about 6 effective ways to connect with people around you
Instead of tagging them as selfish, unsocial and similar adjectives try to understand your faults.
The subtle everyday hints that says you are not welcome
It is not very tough to understand yourself!
However if you are bad at introspection, do not worry!
Sooner or later people around you will give you repeated hints about this trait.
It is up to you how you respond to these signals. Read the following situations and check if you can relate your situation to these cases…
i) Skipping conversations: People find a reason to escape having a conversation with you.
ii) Short, very short replies: In response to your long queries all you get to hear is ‘okay’, ‘hmm’, ’nop’, yup’ and so on…
iii) You do not exist: While talking in a group, nobody asks your opinion.
iv) No-eye contact: If people avoid looking at you during conversations, it is not a very good sign.
Accept the constructive critics: They are your well wishers
Always remember that arrogance is injurious to the self. If someone tries to enlighten you about a negative aspect of your character, try to take it in a matured way…
…instead of fighting with them, try to understand what made them say this.
And feel grateful,
because not everyone gets genuine well wishers to show them the right path.
If you have got a few such friends (in spite of your irritating nature), do not lose them.
In subsequent posts I will discuss about some irritating behavior and their remedies which will help you understand the issue from a deeper perspective.
Over to you
Have you ever been in close contact with an irritating person? Did you try to help them realize their fault? Please share your views regarding this topic
Thank you, nice read.
Whenever I feel irritated by someone, I remind myself that I too probably irritate others. It is all too easy to see what other say/do whilst completely overlooking our own words and actions.
I like your illustrations. I read them hoping I did not fit into any of them!
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I suppose that at some time or other we’ve all been found to be irritating by somebody. I’ve not personally experienced other people making excuses to me as you’ve outlined above. When I feel irritated by others, I try to minimize my contact. If I can’t do this, I breathe deeply and mostly keep my mouth shut, or at least try to!
We probably all irritate someone at some point in our lives. I’m most irritated by mean prople and will avoid them like the plague.
Nice article. The illustrations were wonderful.
No doubt in my mind I am irritating at times, I think we all are. And, that’s a good thing to remember when we find ourselves coming up short on the patience scale. But you’ve raised some excellent points, especially about being open to self-awareness. Thanks for the insights and inspiration!
Patience goes a long way when it comes to irritation. As a teacher, I had to extend students the benefit of the doubt, and modeling better behavior helps.
I know I do. My wife says she think I like hearing myself talk.
Honestly, when there’s silence I do feel the need to start a conversation.
In my process of self-awareness I learned at times I irritate myself.
Thats why I try my best to practice tolerance with others.
Like others have said, I think we all can be irritating at times. What really annoys me more than anything, is those people who only want to talk, and not listen. They only want to tell you about their life or thoughts, and could not care less about yours. That is because they are self-centred. I can do without those people.
Excellent read, thank you.
I liked your comment about arrogance is injurious to the self. I personally do not associate with negative or irritating people, but as that comment states, they are too arrogant in the fist place to see flaws in themselves.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Interesting to think about irritating people from this perspective. I think that dealing with people who irritate you is a certain skill and we need to exercise our “emotional intelligence” and communication skills to become better in that
They say ‘Foolish minds will entertain you, but confuse minds will irritate you.’ but sometimes we never know unintentionally we may irritate someone. This is an excellent post, thanks for sharing!
/* My original comment for this post from March 2016 appears below (Disqus may not have saved it, but I did): */
Social flakiness is somewhat irritating, but I’d rather deal with a flake than with a bully.
As for myself, I am socially awkward (I am introverted to the point of being withdrawn), I have a cheeky/goofy side, and I can be highly sarcastic, and some people will find these traits irritating. C’est la vie.
Often when we find others irritating, they are triggering something within ourselves. So irritating people can give us practice to find out the points in ourselves that are vulnerable.
The interesting thing is that most people are able to find their social group in life. So while you may be irritating to some, you’ll probably be enjoyable to others. The trick is to to not be a pain to a group you can’t choose. For instance, if you drive your co-workers crazy, they can’t get away from you.
I think we all have at least one such friend or maybe who knows, someone might think in the same way about me 😀
Your first line is so true! “The problem with an irritating and annoying person is that the whole world knows about this except the person concerned.”
True – everyone knows except the “hero” of the story. Sometimes, the person is lucky enough to find a friend who cares enough to give them the wake up call. There are instances where the irritating person has no idea, wonders why everyone shuns him, and becomes depressed. Then of course, the worst type that continues to be the way he is, fully aware of his annoying personality.
Well said, Tuhin! 🙂 I like your art!
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