Listen darling, I have packed your lunchbox. DO NOT share this with your classmates!
Hey Tom, don’t share class notes with other fellows.
Here, take your pocket money! Don’t spend this on your friends
Here is your birthday gift- your dream cycle! But listen, do not let other boys ride it.
Did this thought ever come to you-
“The lessons of selfishness that I am injecting inside his mind today-what if he applies the same to me in future?
What if someday he disagrees to share his 3 BHK apartment with me”
You read it right! Let us start this discussion ( and try to understand the link between generosity and happiness) with this disturbing thought.
In this post we will discuss:
- The link between generosity and happiness (A generous man= A happy man)
- Why we should not teach selfishness to kids
- Why we should encourage our kids to be generous and kind
- Why socialization is directly related to success in life (backed by scientific outcomes)
- Research articles justifying the fact that ‘Sharing is actually Caring’
We contradict our own theories
The irony of our times is that we teach the philosophy of ‘sharing is caring’ in moral science lessons, but when it comes to implement this in practical life, sharing suddenly becomes a not-so-caring philosophy for us (guardians)!
A child raised in a constant reminder of exclusiveness grows up to believe that sharing is actually NOT caring.
One wrong notion we have cultivated in our minds is that in order to shine in today’s world, to be academically successful, and to have a bright career, all we need to do is to race like a robot, minding only our own business. And the worst part is – we are injecting this venom inside the delicate minds of our children.
The formula for success, however, is totally different from this ideology.
Don’t be too protective
No parent wants their children to suffer but in the quest to keep them safe and happy, sometimes we become too protective which in turn does more harm than good.
Do you want to know why we should not teach selfishness to kids?
Let us analyze this with the example of lunch box
We often advice our kids not to be too benevolent with their lunch boxes for the fact that we feel this will leave them empty stomach. But what we should understand is that if he learns the art of sharing even at the cost of a hungry stomach, this should be encouraged because kindness, empathy and the ability to connect with people are some of the traits which will take him ahead…far ahead in life.
This is an inclusive world and we grow by collaborating with our neighbours, colleague and friends. In my life so far, I have come across many academically brilliant professionals who are bright in their work but dull in human relations. And this dullness makes them lonely and isolated.
Their inability to mix genuinely with fellow colleagues makes them to stay off the beaten track. The reason for such attitude is that these people have been provided with best academic infrastructure and facilities but never been taught how to think, act and feel like a human; how to do good for people even at the cost of coming out of the comfort zone.
Organizations too, now-a-days prefer socially and emotionally intelligent professionals. Peter Cohan, founder of Peter S. Cohan & Associates mentioned in his article how present day companies are encouraging the co-workers to collaborate and mingle with each other in order to improve firm’s productivity.
And this is another solid reason why you should allow your kid(s) to be more sensitive toward his surrounding. And you can start this training by encouraging him to share his lunch box.
You will not be there to guard him…forever
Today if you are advising your kid to mind ‘only’ his own business and think only for his own self you are pushing him toward a life of pain and isolation. This is because throughout his career (starting from school and college to university and office) he would need to socialize with his ecosystem. He has to build relations with people.
Today you may be his support system, but you will not be there forever to take his decisions, handle his failures and guide him. And this is when the role of people around him comes in to play.
A recent study published in Springer’s ‘Genius’ journal showed a direct link between the presence of good friends in one’s life and high life satisfaction. Similar outcomes were reported in another research published in Journal of Happiness Studies where it was seen that having quality and genuine friends in life helps improving the quality of life which translates eventually to happiness.
So don’t teach selfishness to kids. Teach him how to adjust with people, make genuine friends, how to be kind to others and how to have a heart that cries in other’s sorrows and smile in somebody’s happiness. Make him an emotionally intelligent citizen.
Encourage them to share
Contrary to your belief system that sharing is a loss, sharing is in fact rewarding. When we learn to share without expecting anything in return, we open gates of abundance in our life.
In a research published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, which analyzed 260 undergraduate students from a South eastern university in the age group of 18 to 41, the authors have reported an appreciable improvement in 3 key parameters of life, such as positivity, happiness and life satisfaction when people share their positive experiences with close people in their network.
In a beautiful article written by Peter Daisyme, Co-founder of Hostt, on the habits of successful and happy people, he threw light on a few important traits that are common in most of the successful professionals. Factors such as showering kindness to people, treating them with respect, hanging out with happy people and engaging in deep and meaningful conversations with peers are some of the key ingredients necessary to lead a happy life, he pointed.
So you see, in order to develop these traits in your child you must start encouraging them to mingle with people, be sensitive to their sorrows and share ups and downs of life.
And this can only happen when you teach your kid that life is not only about minding one’s own business;life in fact is about connecting with people, making memories with friends and feeling for the community.
Over to You
Do you ask your kid to share his lunch box with his friends? Do you encourage your kid(s) to share his toys and notes?