People, these days have become intolerant. Be it in joint families, offices, schools, colleges, apartment , society or in any community, we often find people struggling hard to stay peacefully with each other, even for a short period of time. Adjustment and co-operation, it seems have no or very little significance these days. This is probably the reason why we are fast losing the concept of joint families (even in India where nuclear families were rare even 2 decades back).
Though the moral science chapters in our early school days explained the need and ways to adjust with our surroundings, the sad part is that with growing age the lessons of these chapters have faded away from our memories.
If by chance you are too busy to read the whole post, do read the last part (Adjustment is not a magic) carefully. This post is a little effort from my part to help you understand the importance and benefits of adjustment in today’s life. So ahead and read the whys and hows in details:
You need to adjust because…
i) You are a social animal
Let me take you back to your biology books which taught about the social nature of human beings. We are meant to live in a society surrounded by a variety of people each having their own mindset, personality and attitude which will differ from our points of view.
Since we cannot afford to make ourselves isolated by opposing, confronting and fighting every time for petty issues, it makes sense to practice the art of adjustment.
ii) A friend is better than a foe:
Why create enemies when you can live peacefully with a little adjustment! Nobody likes a complaining partner/neighbor/friend/colleague and I guess even you share the same thought too. Sometimes it is absolutely okay to compromise or settle issues with people in a peaceful manner.
“A little adjustment is always better than a lengthy argument” —unknown
So try to adjust with people around you for your own good if not for them.
iii) Adjustment gives peace:
Trust me it gives a feel of satisfaction and peace when you learn to maintain peace with your surroundings. Though it is obvious that your ego will come in the way, but in the end it depends on you how you manage to control it.
In the initial days, things will be tough..Gradually your ego will became weak and eventually vanish in the long run.
iv) You are matured and responsible
People who are matured know how to adjust to changing circumstances. Don’t you want to be one of them? When you learn the art of adjustment you create a positive approach toward life and learn to move away from silly fights and unnecessary arguments.
Annoying people will always be annoying. Why fight with an idiot and ruin your peace of mind! Ignore and move away from such people.
v) You cannot be right always
We fight, we resist, we oppose and we confront all the actions that offend us. A very few of us can admit our own faults (which takes enough maturity, courage and positive approach). To err is human and since we cannot be right always, sometimes it is better to admit our limitations and adjust with the views of people around us.
vi) Avoid conflict
You can avoid a number of unnecessary conflicts and fights with a little adjustment. A minute of heated argument can waste your whole day. Avoid such situations and stay calm and quiet.
Some benefits of adjustment:
i) you become a better human being
ii) your friend circle grows when you start adjusting with people.
iii) No matter how tough the situation is you can confidently tackle it.
iv) You can survive even in the most adverse conditions and situations.
Adjustment is not a magic
We all have that one person either in our professional network or in our personal circle who goes very easy with even the most difficult-to-handle people. While different people may explain this trait by using different logic, the fact is that these sensible people are matured enough to understand that it is better to adjust than to waste energy and time in confronting people for petty issues. Individuals who can adjust with anyone irrespective of their bad temper, behavior, abnormality are not magicians. They are as common as you, me or any other people around us. What sets them apart is their ability to go well with people whom they deal with in their everyday life.
In today’s world you cannot afford to cut yourself from the society and live arrogantly without caring for the world. We need our friends and well wishers in the walk of life. Adjusting and acting responsibly with people takes you closer to their heart.
Over to you
Now that you have understood the benefits of adjusting with people it is important to know how to do this. In the coming post I will explain in details a few effective steps to help you learn this art. Please feel free to share your views or post your queries in the comment section.
You have hit the nail on the head; it is easier to keep the peace at times and let it go. The ego (my ego) wants to be “right” but sustaining a relationship is so much more important than “winning”.
You are right on stating it is a mature person who can let go.
We all need one another – no man is an island.
Adjustment is indeed a process, and often a worthwhile one. There are time when it becomes necessary to walk away though as some people simply demand too much and it takes too much energy to cater to them.
Excellent post, and certainly well timed. I also want to agree with the point Jeri made in her comment because to a degree we are talking about personal boundaries. We always have to balance our connections with others and our own wellbeing. Looking forward to your next post on how to move forward with adjustments. 🙂
It is very important to adjust, in every aspect of your life. I think the two issues why people don’t are arrogance, and devotion.
You cannot adjust, if your ego says you are right. I have known people who are so stubborn about this, even when they know they are wrong, they will not budge.
Devotion is another issue. If you believe your concept is the TRUE path, than anything less is an attack on your believes. We see this in politics all the time, it is either one way or the other, and if you don’t agree you are unpatriotic.
Thanks for sharing.
Adjustments indeed are necessary for peaceful life and you have nailed the points very well.
I always love the way you share your artwork this deepens the connection.
Thanks for sharing dear!
Wonderful post, Tuhin. Especially in view of the craziness going on in the world right now with respect to intolerance. I am very fortunate to live in Canada. We welcome those with differences to come to our country and enhance our culture. That attitude of inclusion and an openminded attitude toward others has helped build Canadian culture.
I keep hoping that via social media, our world keeps getting smaller and therefore we see each other as people first, different second (or maybe fourth or fifth). We can only adjust ourselves, our thoughts and actions. If we start interacting with others from where the place where we find our principles, we’ll interact better with those around us.